My Three Constitutional Wishes

1. Political candidates must submit a resume before running for office to the people they will represent with ample time for us to do background checks. With this they will also be required to perform in the debate and synchronized swimming competition. The winner will be be removed from the tank like a goldfish.

2. One month political campaigns where all political ads must be funny, 24 seconds long, and ACTUALLY tell you who paid for them. I’m looking at you Citizen’s United.

3. Hip Hughes for Galactic Ruler. Just Saying. We wouldn’t have to worry about the  gerrymandering drone they just sent to Pluto causing any trouble down the road.

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