I haven’t written anything more than a blog post in over a week, and to be honest – most of what I’ve written since completing NaNoWriMo has been utilitarian at best. Having just moved in with my fiance, I don’t find getting out of bed at 4am to write as important as it once was. My old writing routine has been thrown out the window, and it’s hard to feel bothered enough to revisit it.
Ken, my fiance, says that it will all even out, and I’ll find a new routine. He is always saying sweet things to lessen my writer’s guilt, because he is a writer too. I also think he tells me these things, because I tend to become melodramatic when I think of the number of hours I’ve pissed away in the last 20 days.
So, the question remains. What do I do with this crushing guilt? Will I be able to turn it into raw emotion to write with, or will I wallow in it becoming to upset to even look at my computer? The sane person deep inside me says to use it to push further into my writing map. This sane person has been defeated too many times this month for me to give her too much credibility though.
I have been watching videos, and reading up on this phenomena. Author, Ava Jae has a great video, On Self-Care and Writing, that helped me to feel a little better. To be honest though, this research has been more about distracting myself from the task at hand – GETTING THE WORDS ON THE PAGE – than about solving the dilemma.
I have two weeks off for the holidays, and I’m going to lay down some hard core writing and revising goals and consequences to see if that motivates me to get to work. If you see me in January missing a pinky finger then you’ll know I failed at my mission…